I have great intentions of a cooked meal, I even know what I want to make but before I know it I am heading back to the hospital and I get home too late to start the well intended meal. I have visions of clean laundry hanging in our closet and the floors being shiny and clean ....... reality, is I am hunting for clean pants and the floor needs a good scrub.
It's very hard to not feel guilt when you can't be everywhere for everyone.
Any advice on how to time mange would be helpful and I am open to hearing what you gotJayven is doing well - he's off the breathing machine, he is still on the feeding tube, he's not gained any weight yet, he has "dips" in his breathing about 1 time daily. He loves to hear our voices. He smiles when Daddy or Skylee talk to him. He amazes the nurses with how much he moves around and lifts his little head from one side to the other. As you can see he is wide eyed (when he wants to be). So we wait, we wait for his weigh gain and him being able to eat on his own with fingers crossed that he continues to be our strong little man.
One thing I had to learn was to let things go. I had Logan oct95, and that winter, after countless doctors visits, he was in Boston for emergency surgery. I had nothing planned for Xmas, and Abby was 3. I was sick over this. We always had a real tree, with special decorations, our stockings etc. My in laws went to Ames and bought us a fully decorated fake floor model xmas tree and a stocking for Abby. That was my 'aha' moment. No- it wasnt the tree I would have picked, but it didn't matter. Nothing is going to fall apart because you are focused on this little sweetie. This time will go by quickly, even though it may not feel that way now. One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ally, I figured that's what it will boil down to. Then I think OMG! If I have to let the house work be last on my list, then how can I ever bring him home if there are germs everywhere. Maybe meds are my true answer ;)
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